Mandar Oak

You know you’re an astronomer when…

1. You see a bright star and know that it’s actually Venus.

2. You know the names of specific craters on the Moon.

3. You know the significance of the phrase “Oh Be A Fine Guy/Girl, Kiss
Me” or as we knew it in my high school astronomy class… “Oh Boy, A Fat
Girl Kicked Me”.

4. You know the difference between an asteroid and a comet.

5. You have a personal vendetta against the TV-weatherman.

6. You know that Olympus Mons is the tallest peak in the solar system
and which planet it’s on (not Earth!).

7. You’ve spent the night with your wife/husband/significant-other alone……watching a
meteor shower.

8. You’ve changed the lyrics of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to make
them factually correct.

9. You know the phrase “a mere billion years” is not an oxymoron.

10. Someone mentions Jodie Foster and you think of Eleanor Arroway.

11. You’ve been in a debate over whether Pluto is a planet.

12. You know that Pluto really isn’t a planet and shouldn’t have been
considered one to start (as sad as it may be).

13. You can give the mass of the sun, the average distance between the
Earth and the sun, and the value of the gravitational constant off the
top of your head (in multiple units !!!).

14. You know the exact value of the speed of light.

15. You’ve decorated your room with a reproduction of your favorite
portion of the night sky.

16. You’ve used Polaris to find the Big Dipper.

17. You know what NASA stands for.

18. A friend of yours thought you were studying Astrology.

19. You can pronounce Betelgeuse, Uranus, Charon, and Cassiopeia at
least two different ways each.

20. You know the actual pronunciation of Uranus is “your a nus”, not
“your anus”.

21. Someone casually wonders aloud how many planets out there might be
able to support life you immediately think of the Drake equation.

22. You think the purpose of life is to study the sky.

23. You’ve ever wondered how much you’d be fined if you blew out all of
the streetlights on your street so you could see the stars better.

24. You ask for a telescope for Christmas/Hannukah/Birthday/any other
gift giving holiday.

25. You pronounce “Maria” with the emphasis on the first syllable.

26. While observing in the middle of the night in an open area,
policemen come up to you and want to know what you’re doing.

27. You race to the bookstore when the new issue of Astronomy Magazine
or Sky and Telescope comes out.

28. You have Astronomy podcasts on your ipod.

29. You know every line to Apollo 13, and have possibly read the book.

30. Your heroes include Galileo, Isaac Newton, Albert Eistein, Johannes
Kepler, Tycho Brahe, Carl Sagan, and many others.

31. You’re incredibly proud of your 3rd place medal in the Science
Olympiad Astronomy competition!

32. When you see a list of the zodiac and you get annoyed if they’re not
in the right order of procession.

33. If it’s clear out and the seeing is good, observing takes priority
over sleeping, eating, and even tomorrow’s exams!

34. You pack more observing equipment than clothes for a two week vacation.

35. You’ll stand outside for hours in 18 below zero weather to watch the lunar
eclipse.

37. When shopping for a car, you measure to see if your telescope will
fit inside.

38. You think of East as “left” and West as “right” (if you live in the
northern hemisphere).

39. You HATE Daylight Saving Time!

40. When planning a trip you consult a Dark Sky Map.

41. You know where Mauna Kea is and can’t wait until you go there. The
main attraction of Hawaii is its coldest place (Mauna Kea).

42. You use calendars mainly to check the phase of the Moon.

43. You clear your calendar around the time of New Moon.

44. You switched from glasses to contact lenses not for the gals rather so
it would be easier to use telescopes.

45. Your most important body size measurement is your dilated pupil size.

47. When you hear a tornado warning, you hope it will blow down some
trees in your yard.

48. Most of your flashlights are red.

49. On calendars that don’t have new moons indicated, you color your own in.

50. The song “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” bugs you because it’s about bad seeing.

51. You have a pair of binoculars in your vehicle and you don’t birdwatch.

52. The warmest clothes you have are ugly because they were bought to be worn in the dark.

54. You have installed half-steps on a ladder.

55. Yo u know how long it takes f or the floaters in your eyes to sink out of view .

56. If your primary reason to purchase a bottle of Crown Royal is that your secondary needs a new cover.

57. You use [the lack of] lighting as the primary criteria for selecting a campground.

58. You know at least one person whose telescope is worth more than their car —-
And it’s you —- And you don’t see any problem with that.

59. It takes less than a year to convince your spouse to build a shed in
the backyard…that is not for yard equipment…has a sliding roof…and is to be
used only on clear nights.